Hello again! Today’s blog is about how we think. More specifically it is about how our thinking is sometimes inaccurate. Just because we think something doesn't mean it is true.

There are usually patterns of irrational thinking people use and those patterns are called cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are unhelpful because they are thinking errors that create feelings of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. We all engage in cognitive distortion patterns, which is why it is helpful to know which ones you fall into most often. Here is a list of a few common ones and some examples...

Black or White Thinking (also called all or nothing thinking)- this often looks like perfectionistic thinking. "I have to do perfect or it isn't worth doing at all." It is either perfect or a failure. 

Overgeneralization- this happens when we experience something one time and believe that it will happen again. "I didn't get the promotion, so I will never get a promotion." 

Personalization- this is a belief that things someone else says or does is due is your fault. This happens when someone literally take everything personally even if it has nothing to do with them. 

Catastrophizing- making a mountain out of a molehill, or expecting the absolute worse to happy. "What if a hurricane hits?" or "I failed my quiz, which means I am going to fail the course, then I won't be able to graduate, and I won't get a good job, and then I will be homeless forever."

Shoulds- anytime we use a "should" in a thought. "I should do/be..." or "I shouldn't have...". These statements create feelings of guilt, anger, and resentment. Try using statements like that are based in what you will actually do or want to do. "I am going to...".

Blaming- this happens when we blame others for what is occurring rather than taking accountability for our part in situations. "If they hadn't...then I wouldn't have...". 

Assuming- you know what they say about assuming...and it is often times very true. This occurs when we make assumptions about something we don't have good reason to believe. If we don't have valid evidence to believe something, then there is a good chance it might not be true. 

Emotional Reasoning- "If I feel this way, then it must be true." This can be problematic because how we feel is not always accurate for the current situation. Feelings might be triggered by past situations or by other cognitive distortions. 

Always Being Right- this causes problems for people internally as well as in relationships. This occurs when someone doesn't care how they make the other person feel, they just want to prove their point and prove that they are right. Even if they are wrong, they will keep trying to prove they are right. 

Filtering- this happens when we take a negative part of a situation (even if it is a small part) and magnify it as if that was the only thing that happened, and completely negate anything positive that might have happened. 

What ifs- "what if this happens, or what if that happens?" Planning for things that haven't happened yet often leads to feelings of anxiety, and it is usually futile as that "what if" rarely happens. So instead of it being a useful plan, it ends up creating more stress for no reason. 

So what do we do about cognitive distortions? I have a couple ways I like to start off handling them. First, identifying which cognitive distortion is occurring. From there, I like to weight "the evidence". So I ask myself, what is the evidence for (this belief) and the evidence against (this belief)? I also use an experimental method in which I ask myself "If someone else told me this exact same situation, would I agree with the belief they are holding about it?" or "If I told a friend about this, would they agree my belief is accurate?". I also try and remember that whatever I would tell a friend about the situation is the same I want to be telling myself (self-compassion).

Thanks for reading and being in connection with me,

Steph