No Consent Means it is Sexual Assault

Hello again! April is sexual assault awareness month so this is the perfect time to educate ourselves on sexual violence, what consent is (and is not), and how we can teach kids about consent. 

The CDC reports that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced sexual violence at some point in their lives. But we know that this statistic is actually low because many people don't tell family, friends, or police about the violence.

The CDC defines sexual violence as any sexual activity where consent is not freely given. This includes completed or attempted sex acts that are against the victims will or involve a victim who is under the influence of drugs/alcohol and cannot consent. Sexual violence can also look like pressuring someone into sexual, unwanted sexual contact, or verbal sexual harassment. It is also important to remember that sexual violence can be committed by anyone: a current or previous intimate partner, a family member, someone in a role whom has power or trust, a friend, or a stranger.

This link "I ask for consent" gives examples of when consent isn't being given including if someone seems unsure or hesitates, if the person's body language tenses up or they pull away, or if there is any question as to whether the answer is a clear "yes".

Some great examples of how to teach children about consent can be found here. It includes information related to opening up safe discussions about consent and what they are comfortable with regarding their body (ex: who are you comfortable giving hugs to?), how to gain knowledge about what they understand about relationships and how to treat others, messages they could be given or role modeled at home, school, media, or elsewhere, and talking about empathy for others.

Sexual violence can impact health in many ways, including physical and mental health (headaches, stomachaches, depression, fear, anxiety, blaming self, difficulty trusting others, possible suicidal thoughts are all examples).

If someone opens up to you and tells you they have been sexually assaulted, remember that listening and being there is the best first step. Therapy would be beneficial, too, and I am happy to be a support for anyone who has experienced sexual violence. 

Thanks for reading and being in connection with me,

Steph