Struggling With The Holidays?

Hello! While some people look forward to the holiday season, others dread this time of year. The "Holiday Blues" are a real thing and can be caused by multiple factors- extra stress, remembering loved ones no longer with us, difficult memories associated with the holiday season, unrealistic expectations, or financial stress (just to name a few). I gave a few ideas of ways to cope in my last blog and wanted to provide a few more...

Noticing anxiety or sadness-

1. Find a routine and stick to it- this can include bedtimes, wake up times, remembering to eat meals that are healthy for you, incorporate movement (I walk in the mornings when I wake up), keep "me time" in your schedule to fill your cup, and schedule get togethers with people who help you feel good rather than drain your bucket.

2. Boundaries- allow yourself to say no. Decide what things sound most enjoyable, and at what capacity you want to participate. Maybe a family function sounds like fun, but only for a couple of hours. That's ok. Boundaries can also look like budgeting- create a budget of how much you want to spend this holiday season and then stick to it.

3. Expectations- let go of the "perfection" expectation, and others' expectations of you. Focus more on what sounds good to you. For example, if you want to host a holiday get together, great. But that doesn't mean you have to put out a spread of every holiday dish. Maybe order pizza, or delegate dishes/drinks for others to bring. And your house doesn't have to look perfect. Decorate it the way you like it (if you want to decorate). I keep the word "Simplify!" in mind during this time of year.

If you are noticing grief-

1. I recommend allowing yourself space and time to notice the feelings coming up. Establish a particular time each day (or week) to allow yourself time to think about your loved one (maybe it is in the morning over a cup of coffee, or during your shower, or while you exercise). Make sure to have a specific time limit so it doesn't run over into other parts of your day.

2. Come up with ways to celebrate your loved one by doing something they loved (making their favorite food, listening to music they enjoyed, playing a game they liked).

3. Acknowledge the pain and hurt you feel for a few minutes. Then transition to an activity that fills your emotional bucket (art, exercise, cooking/baking, writing, reading, praying, calling someone to talk, take a bath, etc).

Another idea- start making a list of things you feel grateful and fortunate for. Each day, add to that list. Incorporate things on your list more often.

One piece of advice- surround yourself with people (or pets) whom you feel supported and loved by.

Thanks for reading and being in connection with me,

Steph